wow, babes. those of you who warrant distinction as reliable tastemakers and taste testers will remember the lord of the rings cinematic trilogy as solid, respectable film that would've been crack had it achieved its full pornographic potential. hold your rohirrim horses, babes! i seen him in the streets and, though far be it from me to casually invest a lot of judgment in another sentient penis cardholder's appearance..(....)YA BOY GIMLI IS NAUGHT BUT A CONTEMPTIBLE UG BOOT

i could only begin to express my disappointment if google's blog service transliterated to slit wrists and fecalese.

who in the blazes is this little holedigger to rain so katrinally on the parade of all who knew and respected him? what dark alternative bro sorcery hath corrupted our dear adventurer so that he would spurn the holy invitation of the valar in favor of orbiting cigarettes unwrapped and refilled with skimpy halfgrams of that sticky lothlorien chonkyfire?

look at the pained glare afixed on the periphery of his despicable smirk by harry potter star daniel radcliffe, who has remained admirably faithful to his stylistic sensibilities amidst controversy over his selection for the title role in the upcoming legend of deuschbagger vance. his eerie, columbinian focus promises vengeance of summerjamscreen proportions as counterstroke to gimli's newly minted slobb deep affiliation.

more important than the concerns of linkin-park-listening scholars of bitchfraft and misery, of course, is the potential impact this donning of brown skinny slacks will have on gimli's fashion disciples in music's barad-dhur. i'm talking about motherfucking danzig, motherfuckers!without the steady dwarf-wrought visual influence of frodo's furriest fellow, what will become of glenn's tendency toward rocking that fly mythril quest combat couture? nothing? one can only hope, babes. what the fuck is glenn gonna do, sign a time capsulized tom morello from the audioslave to more completely adhere to the tone set by his chief bulwark against the cold, unyielding winds of deathwear change? danzig's associates in the depths of hell and dark arts insider tony snow each refused to comment, and even the ever-candid informants in the office of father time would not tell.

i hope they megaspoof you in shrek 5 and put you on an apollo mission without a tape adapter so you have to earbud your bob marley and slightly stoopid greatest hits mashups all the way to the blood diamond mining space colony where you belong. legolas won